I hope everyone had a lovely Thanksgiving! We certainly did. I will have a post on it before too long. For now, I'll do a little pregnancy update for those interested.
Let me begin with this fact: I am extremely grateful for this baby (whose gender we will find out next week). I am so aware of the blessing that this pregnancy is, and I do not take it lightly. I'm not immune to the pain and hurt that many of my friends are experiencing with their struggles with infertility. I think about and pray for them (you?) regularly. I am so grateful.
That being said, pregnancy is taking its toll on me. It's very similar to my pregnancy with Claire, meaning the nausea is endless, the headaches (lots of migraines this time- thanks, never-ending rain) relentless, and the low spirits ever-present. Apparently, my body is just not very good at this. I have periods of just feeling like I'm in the Pit of Despair or that the Dementors are upon me and there is no way I can produce a patronus. These moments usually come when I'm on day 3 of a migraine and my stomach thinks we're traveling on hairpin curves in the mountains- with a stomach virus. It's just hard to be upbeat in those moments. It's also easy to let my mind wander to all the worst-case scenarios of pregnancy and birth. I don't think there's anything called Pre-Partum Depression, but I go through times of feeling like I have that. Thankfully, I have Brad. He's a stud SUPERHERO, and gosh, I can't believe he married me. And my mom and mother-in-law. You should BE SO LUCKY to have them in your life. And Claire, who is a remarkably wonderful 2-year-old and loves to comfort me. THE CUTEST SWEETEST. And friends that keep calling and texting even when I only answer every 4 phone calls (KAT). And local friends who bring lunch AND put dinner in your crock pot for later (KATIE). And people who barely know me who pray for me daily. My sicky-pants life is really good, strange as that sounds.
ALSO: the past two weeks have been quite a bit better for me with fewer migraines and much more manageable nausea. YAY! (Expecto patronum, Dementors.)
Now, please note that you will not see me posting pregnancy update photos. The reason for this is vanity; I am not one of those girls who looks cute when pregnant. I gain weight everywhere, not just a cute baby bump. It's awesome (except not). Also, because of all the nausea, I only shower every few days. Go ahead and gag. I've made peace with it. I'll smile for pictures with other people, but there won't be bump pictures and I'm cool with that. I'll have other physical evidence to remind me of the pregnancy progression, I'm positive.
Speaking of physical evidence (you know, like stretch marks and scars), as of now, I'm planning to have a scheduled c-section. Claire ended up being an unplanned c-section, and while I know many people who have experienced fabulous vbac's, and I myself have done a lot and reading and thinking about it, I don't think that's the best choice for me. Brad fully supports this and agrees with the reasoning behind it. My situation with Claire was so weird, and I just CAN'T even entertain the idea of another 30-hour labor marathon...that very well may end in another c-section. Plus all the other weird things that happened last time. I've made peace with this, too. The doctors presented me with both options (the practice is extremely vbac friendly) and support my decision, so that's the plan. It causes me less anxiety, which I find to be important.
New Baby's due date is April 21, which means that a c-section will probably be a week before that. So, Claire will be about 3 and some change after her February birthday. We told her once that the baby will come sometime after her birthday. This led her little mind to believe that the baby will be bringing her (Claire) a "happy birthday cake!" We ran with it. Now, after Claire says that the baby will bring her a happy birthday cake, she says, "and I will be friends with them!" You better believe we're coming home with a cake for Claire- from the baby. Also, she wants it to be pink. Done.
Frequently Asked Questions:
Q: Do you know the gender?
A: We find out next week. Yes, we are finder-outers. The planner in me really wants to know. Plus, I don't seem to connect with the baby emotionally until I can give it a name. Maybe that's horrible, but when I feel so gross all the time, I'd like to at least like the baby as a person.
A: We find out next week. Yes, we are finder-outers. The planner in me really wants to know. Plus, I don't seem to connect with the baby emotionally until I can give it a name. Maybe that's horrible, but when I feel so gross all the time, I'd like to at least like the baby as a person.
Q: Do you have a preference?
A: I tend not to answer this one. Seems dangerous.
Q: How does Claire feel about it? Does she understand?
A: She wants cake (see above). I don't think she really gets it, but I do think she will feel very dethroned once New Baby arrives. Bless us all.
Q: Do you have names picked out?
A: For a boy, yes. We actually picked it out long before we had children, and I made something of a spectacle of myself with Brad's family in an attempt to protect it from becoming a pet's name. If you want the story, comment about it, and I'll type it up for you. For a girl, we have some that we are tossing around. However, we get mixed reactions when we share them, so we're going to start playing that one close to the vest. I guess we picked the perfect girl name with Claire and are up a creek with this one (if she's a girl). Names are hard, y'all.
Q: How does this pregnancy compare to your first one?
A: I felt kind of duped by all the people who kept telling me "each pregnancy is different." There are a few minor differences with this one (no sciatica, more migraines), but essentially, it's the same. Lots of quaking nausea, lots of headaches, lots of fatigue, unflattering weight gain. Very little productivity outside of baby-growing.
Any other questions? I'm happy to answer (unless you ask what girl's name we're looking at. Not answering that one yet.). Thank you for all of the support and love, friends. It's so appreciated.
