I realize how dramatic that sounds, but seriously. I thought we would never get there.
Pregnancy is always such a crazy experience for me, each one adding extra "things" to contend with. I spent the last few weeks of this pregnancy really trying to sort through thoughts and feelings about my relationship to pregnancy because it's just so complicated. Maybe I'll write it out sometime.
But for now: a baby story!
Brynna (Brynn) Jane Boswell
May 7, 2018
8:23 am
Due to my past deliveries, I went into this birth knowing it would be my third c-section, for better or for worse. I dealt with a bit of anxiety off and on throughout the pregnancy, thinking about how each c-section becomes more and more dangerous. I also knew I'd be using general anesthesia, which is an extra complicating factor and one that the doctors would try to dissuade me from regularly. Note: I don't make it a point to disregard what doctors recommend. However, my first delivery experience was in Boston, not Durham, so my strange delivery complications were not something that anyone here dealt with or fully understood.
I've discovered that my very favorite part of pregnancy is the 4 or 5 days at the very beginning, right after I find out I'm expecting but right before the nausea sets in (which seems to be earlier and earlier each time). It's a super small window, and usually, only Brad and I even know about the baby during those 4 or 5 days that are fun and exciting. My nausea with this pregnancy started very early on and lasted, literally, until the morning she was born. I did not have one single day where I didn't feel nauseated or vomited, which absolutely puts a damper on the excitement. As do the migraines. As does all of the diabetes, which lasted so long this time and was much more difficult to manage.
It was a long and hard pregnancy, to be sure.
But, because I knew I'd be having a c-section, I knew for several months beforehand that I was scheduled to have my baby on Monday, May 7 (assuming everything went according to plan). There was definitely an element of relief in having a date on the calendar that I knew I would deliver by, if not before. It gave me a glimmer of hope.
My mom came into town a week before, so that we'd be covered for childcare for Claire and Lily, should I go into labor on my own (interesting fact: I have never gone into labor naturally. At least not real labor.). That was a HUGE relief for me- to know that everyone was taken care of. My dad and my sister came in the Saturday evening before my c-section Monday morning. My mom and dad have been with us for each of the girls' births, and Amiee decided that she really wanted to be here this time, too. That was a really special part of Brynn's birth story.
I had my last round of non-stress test/fluid check/sugar check + my pre-op appointment with Dr. Schreiber on the Friday before my surgery. She wasn't the doctor who delivered Lily (he was out of town for my scheduled date), but I was very happy with her as my surgeon. She is a very intuitive doctor, experienced gestational diabetes with each of her own 3 pregnancies, and pressured me not one bit about my use of general anesthesia. I left my pre-op appointment feeling very uplifted and much more emotionally prepared than I expected to be.
We had a fun weekend hanging out with my family, and while I was nervous/stressed on Sunday, it was less than it could have been. My nausea was really intense Sunday night (I'm sure my impending surgery heavily influenced that), and I had to fast from food and water starting at midnight. Do you know how thirsty a person gets when told they can't drink anything? Oh my gosh. PARCHED.
We checked in at 6:00 am (Mom came with us) and got started on all the things: non-stress test (#mylife), IV + fluids, consult with anesthesia (twice), plus other random c-section-y prep things. All of the nurses and doctors that were in and out were so very nice. We overlapped with the shift change, so we got to meet and talk with quite a few people.
Dr. Schreiber got there around 7:30 and things really got rolling. A top topic of conversation among my OB, the nurses, the nurse anesthetist, and Brad, Mom, and me was that of girl names. Of course. Because we still didn't have one picked out.
They walked me into the OR and started all of the prep in there: arms strapped, catheter set, drape taped. The nurse anesthetist casually asked me questions about my past experiences with general anesthesia (while a nurse was doing my catheter...um, talking normally through that experience is not the easiest thing to do) and was pretty impressed with my spine's inability to accommodate anesthesia. The anesthesiologist came in partway through this process (side note: the anesthesiologist that did my initial assessment before shift change had told me this particular doctor was a bit grumpy) and introduced himself, asked where I was from, and told me his son-in-law was from Mobile. He proved not to be grumpy at all (at least not with me) and was very kind. He kept patting my arm while they finished prepping.
After that, they started my oxygen mask, the anesthesia started (i.e. burned like fire), and I don't remember anything else until everyone was calling my name to wake me up. I'm pretty sure my first words were to thank everyone for not letting me die... clearly, you can see some of my anxiety showing through. Side note: the night before, during family prayers, Claire (completely unaware of any of my nerves, as I continually reassured her that everything was fine) prayed, "Thank you for Mommy. And please don't let her die." Bless it.
My next concern/question was: "How big is she??" I was also QUITE concerned about this, as GDM babies are often really big (which can cause issues with bilirubin levels/jaundice and glucose management). They told me she was only 7 lbs. 9 oz., and I was thrilled! Partly because she wasn't too big and partly because I had guessed she'd be around 7-and-a-half lbs, and I was right. The ultrasound on the day I went for my pre-op appointment had her measuring at 8 lbs 11 oz. I told my doctor that was how big the ultrasound was reporting, and she told me something interesting: she'd read a report about how ultrasounds were the least reliable about weight, OB's were slightly more reliable with a guess (feeling the mom's belly), and moms (as long as the baby isn't the first) are the most reliable guessers. Ultrasound = 8 lbs 11 oz.
My doctor's guess = 7 lbs 4 oz.
My guess = 7 lbs 8 oz.
Actual weight = 7 lbs 9 oz.
I win!
Because I'd hemorrhaged during recovery after Lily's delivery, Dr. Schreiber gave me a massive dose of pitocin immediately so that I'd start contracting quickly and aggressively (and not bleed out). That wasn't comfortable but gave me peace of mind. Of course, I spent the next 24 hours asking each of my nurses to check and verify that I wasn't going to bleed to death. Let me just say: once you've bled an excessive amount once, you tend toward panicking about any bleeding thereafter...
We were in the hospital for only 2 full days + a half, which is our shortest hospital stay to date! We had really wonderful nurses: Shana, Kristi, Tiffanie, Melissa, Courtney, Erica. Shana checked my bleeding about 4 or 5 times, due to my paranoia and was so very patient and encouraging. Tiffanie was our first night nurse, and she was around for Brynn's first super big diapers, as well as some scary choking spells. She was so calm and competent. Melissa was with me on my full day post-op, which means she was with me for all of my first attempts at walking/getting to the bathroom/moving around, which are all kind of ordeals after a c-section. At least for me. There's a lot of pain and everything is verrrry slow going. She was so kind and so patient with me, and we are pretty sure that she was around when Lily was born 2 years ago! I was very sad when her shift ended, and she was so sweet to give me a hug before she left. Erica, our nurse on the last morning, also remembered us from our stay when Lily was born. Such a small world! Shana, our very first nurse, was back at work our last morning and made a point to come by our room to say goodbye before we left. We seriously had wonderful nursing care and were so grateful.
Despite all my anxiety about a third c-section, as well as all of the issues that can happen with GDM pregnancies, everything went so smoothly. I left the hospital feeling overwhelmingly grateful for how well the whole thing went. And suuuuuper grateful for Brad, my parents, and my sister for taking care of me and the biggie girls. Could not have done it all without them.
Right before all the prep started. Also, I'm not taller than Brad; the bed was inclined.
Brad, all prepped and ready for the OR.
Birth time
Peds team at work.
Brad has gotten to meet each of our girls first.
There's that weight!
She looks so chubby in this photo, but really, she's SO tiny!
Our first pictures! I was very drugged but so very glad for everything to have gone so smoothly.
Vitals in the recovery room. They needed to check her sugars and temperature slightly more than usual because of GDM + the c-section.
First Daddy snuggles.
ALL of our girls have been excellent pouty-face-makers from the get-go.
More checks.
Nana's first snuggle.
More Brynn posts to come!
Also, if you click on the "Baby Story" tag at the bottom of this post, you can scroll back to read Lily's and Claire's stories, too.
