Around here lately: November and December 2015 edition

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas! We have definitely been enjoying the Christmas season and our time with family and friends. I will certainly post quite a bit about all of our celebrating over the next couple of weeks, but those posts are not quite ready yet (and the celebrating isn't quite finished!). In the meantime, here's the latest installment of Claire-isms that I don't want to forget (and that I hope entertains you). Enjoy!


"IT'S THE TICKLE BOX!" (her response when Brad holds her so that she cannot escape with either her arms or her legs and is immobilized for tickling)

"I have to pay the tickle tax!" (her response when Brad won't let her pass until he tickles her thoroughly) variation: "Don't tickle tax me, Daddy!"

*Lays back dramatically and puts cherry pit bag on head* I use a heated cherry pit bag on my head when I have migraines, and Claire is captivated by the bags. She often commandeers one of them and pretends that she "has a headache" like Mommy. Bless.

"There's a sprinkle on the bed!" (referencing a rogue sequin from her red sequin shorts)

"I feel so much better!" (immediately after taking cough syrup. Like, the moment she swallowed it.)

"Go, toes, go!" (an encouragement to her toes when putting her feet into her pants/tights/socks)

"I have to take the car away, daddy, because you disobeyed, ok?" (playing cars with Brad...not sure what Brad did to deserve such reproof. It does, I think, give insight into "phrases often heard in our house.")

"Daddy, Mommy doesn't feel like nice. Please leave her in bed."

"Nana, will you close me?" (pronounced as in "Kroger is close to my house," not like "close the door," meaning "will you pull me close?")

"Aha! I have an idea: you want to take turns?"

"Great job, toes!" (playing cars with Nana, catching the car with her toes)

"Read it again, would you?"

Brad, coming downstairs and seeing Claire in the bathroom: "Whatcha doing, Claire?"

C: (singing a made-up tune) "I'm sitting on the potty! I'm sitting on the potty! I'm sitting on the potty BEE-DEE-HA!"

"Poppy is on him's way!"

"I'm going to go upstairs and tell daddy, 'what's the problem here, Daddy?'" (because Daddy had shut the tv console for the night, and she did not appreciate it)

"Please find S E S E Pen. Try harder, please, Nana." (asking my mother to find ESPN. Yes, she's an unusual child.)

Kat: See you later, alligator!

Claire: See you later, Crocodile!

Claire to Kat: "Are you awake, Crocodile?"

"The trigangle is back!" (referring to the angle my legs make when I'm laying on my side on the couch. She likes to sit in the bend of my knees and calls it the "triangle")

"Did Daddy blow it backwards?" (regarding the deflated air mattress before it was folded and put away) 

"Hi, Christmas Tree!" (a daily greeting heard during the Christmas season)

"I'm  getting the hot off." (rubbing my legs after I kicked off a blanket and said I was hot)

"I need my good night flashlight." (night light)

"Can I have the nuvver ear to kiss?" (after kissing one of my ears)

Wips = chapstick

"Grandpa has a beard. I have a face."

"Let me do it- you do it allll day." (Brad was doing something on the computer, and Claire wanted to participate. Refer to this post for the first part of this story.)

"I'm doing decorate!" (while putting random items on the Christmas tree)

"I'm a little upset to Daddy. He told me 'no'."

"I'll be a sweet girl to Mommy!" (stated automatically when Daddy leaves. Brad has trained her well.)

"Mommy, I'm hicking up!" (hiccup-ing)

C: "Gran, could you go ask Maizie, 'What's the problem?'" (Maizie is Gran's bird) *takes Barbara's seat while she's out of the room*

Me: "Claire, we don't start eating dessert until the hostess picks up her fork. The hostess is Gran."

C: "Gran, could you pick up your fork?"

(in the midst of a negotiation over behavior and the receipt of a cookie)

C: "I don't want a cookie. Can I have a cookie?" (no breath taken between statements)

Brad: "Well, if you aren't going to do what you need to to get a cookie, I'm going to eat it."

C: "Daddy, PLEASE don't eat my cookie!!" (insert extremely pitiful face)

Brad: "Who is George, Claire?"

Claire: "He's a curious monkey!"

And, the conversation that wins for this edition:

(during a post-nap meltdown wherein Claire was crying uncontrollably, didn't want to leave her room, didn't want me in her room, and refused to calm down. Please read in the voice of a hysterical 2-year-old)

C: "Could you leave?"

Me: "No."

C: "Could you close the door and go on the other side?"

Couldn't make this stuff up if I tried, folks. If you haven't met Claire in real life to experience this nuttiness, I'm really sorry. It's hilarious.