Letter to my Little Bear: Year 4

Dear Bearsy Bear,

Happy 4th birthday! We have been celebrating all month long, and it has been buckets of fun. You LOVE celebrating- especially if it's for you! One of your very favorite things is to "make a party," and you are very good at it. Maybe you have a future career in party planning? You'd be awesome at it.

Bear in a Bag!

And again. Apparently, this is a favorite past time...

That foot pop...

Bike riding

Goodness, this year has been full. Full of so much learning and fun and challenges and WORDS. The words have been a hallmark of year 3. You are so articulate and so willing to share your articulation at any time with anyone. It's delightful...and a little exhausting to keep up with. Your voice is still so little and sweet, and I video it as often as possible so that I won't forget what it sounds like. Sometimes, though, for my mental well-being, I set a timer and declare it to be "quiet time" (for about 2 whole minutes), and around 7 seconds in, you usually ask if you can talk yet. This is not your favorite game. But, we do love to hear your thoughts and get a glimpse of that window into your mind and heart. From these glimpses, we see more and more how intelligent you are, what a critical thinker you're becoming, and how tender and sensitive your heart is. You have such compassion for others and always want to be a helper. It's admirable and convicting to me.

Smirk

Fun with Daddy

Just a normal day

We love getting glimpses of the way your mind works. You're pretty shrewd for a little gal. For example, if Daddy and I are talking at the dinner table and you're not quite sure what we're discussing, you listen for for a minute and then ask, "Are you talking about ____?" and insert your best guess. Sometimes you're spot on! We've been working for the last few months on your problem-solving skills (to counteract a tendency to frustration), and you are becoming so adept at putting those skills to use! If you can't quite figure something out, you tell us that you're a problem solver and that you will problem solve it! I absolutely love watching you become an independent and careful thinker. We still have to offer guidance to you in your problem-solving endeavors (but you are still a little girl- this is not unexpected), but you are growing so much in your thinking and processing. Your problem-solving parents are so proud.

We attempted to grow a flower. It didn't really work out...

Helping Daddy fix up under the dishwasher

You suffer from a slight case of Hypermelodramosis (Poppy's diagnosis)

Another way that we've caught glimpses into your mind this year has been watching your creativity and imagination emerge. I LOVE THIS SO MUCH. Being a dreamer/imagine-er/Anne Shirley-type myself, I cannot possibly overstate how exciting this has been to watch. During this year 3 of your life, I started leaving you up to your own (supervised) devices more and more. You didn't always love being left to entertain yourself, but over time, you developed a glorious imagination, creating worlds, friends, and imaginary social situations and complications to navigate and resolve. Your resourcefulness and abstract thinking has grown and stretched in fantastic ways. We have loved watching you gain more independence and learn some levels of self-sufficiency. While it makes me sad that you're not a baby anymore, I'm so excited to see you becoming a capable little person. That is, after all, a huge element of this parenting gig we have going on. Oh, and your favorite imaginary friend is "Joy." Here's a short list of items that have been "Joy" in your imaginary games this year: shampoo bottles, ginger ale cans, chap stick, malt vinegar packs. Yeah. It's been interesting.

She wanted to make floating flowers like on Tangled.

Playing Mary (mother of Jesus)

Still a favorite game

You energy levels are unsurpassed these days. Daddy calls you a Perpetual Motion Machine, and that could not be more spot-on. You exude energy at all times while, seemingly, attracting it, as well (i.e. sucking it out of your parents for your own purposes). I wish I had 1/100th of the energy you have. But no. I'm tired by 2:00 pm. I will say, though, you still run on your tippy toes, and I LOVE IT. 

These sleeping moments are very important.

War Eagle!

Goofy.

This past year also brought some developmental milestones that have been very helpful: fully potty trained (including naps and nighttime) and eating what we put in front of you (this one is still an ongoing process but it is so much further along than it was). I don't even want to remember the process that was completing potty training. It was agonizing for your parents, child. Let's just say that you are very persistent when you set your mind to (or, in this case, against something). I'll refrain from writing too much about it, but I'll tell you about it one day. Eating has been a mixed bag: you LOVE to eat, but you do not love to eat what we serve you at family dinners. We've been working on this, and you're doing a wonderful job of overcoming your prejudices and fears. We're so proud of you, and you're discovering that there are actually a lot of foods that you like. A whole new world, Claire, a whole new world.

You visited the dentist for the first time and handled it like a champ! I'm going to go out on a limb and say you enjoyed it. I was so proud of you for being so brave.

You love to play winter and snow. It's your Boston roots showing.

You took on the role of Big Sister just a month and a half after you turned 3. We had NO IDEA how that would go, but you proved to be a champion at adapting to your new job. It has been so fun to watch you and Lily together. You love her so much, and she ADORES you. I was so worried that you would resent her and having to share attention, but you've made room for her with such grace and enthusiasm. When we decided to move Lily into your room, I was very concerned that things would take a negative turn, but you surprised me again; you love having her in there, and you even get upset if she isn't for some reason. What's not so precious is how the two of you get each other all excited and riled up about life...at 6:00 am. That can stop any time. But know that we are so proud of you and how you take care of Lily.

Memorial Day matching

Mother's Day 2016

You were Kevin McAllister for the Boswell Christmas Eve Home Alone party. You chose the character and got VERY into it.

Happy girls!

Sister picture success!

Sometimes pictures work out and sometimes they...don't.

Worked out!

Not so much...

You've also made several new friends this year! We've had such a good time getting to know them! There's Toby and Lydia, Emma and Edmund, Violet, and Aurelia (plus older friends like Richie and Kari Beth, Amelia and Estelle, Amelie and Adeline). You're getting such a good group of friends (and thankfully, Mommy and Daddy really like all of their parents, too). This is such an answer to prayer for us.

This was one of the happiest moments of your year. I'm not even exaggerating. You think of him as a friend, too.

Kitchen helper

Ta-da!

You have developed a wonderful sensitivity to spiritual matters over this past year. You've learned so many Bible stories and have memorized quite a few scriptures, and you've become very aware of the complexities of the story of Jesus. We've spent many an hour discussing "Jesus on the Cross with the blood on Him," which has been both encouraging and challenging for me. There's so much that you want (and need) to know, but there are so many elements of the story that you can't quite grasp yet. We'll continue talking about it, and one day- probably soon- it will make sense to you. 

Here are a few things you've fallen in love (or continued to love) with this last year: Curious George and Cars (you still love them), Madeline (and the Eiffel Tower- you spot it in pictures all the time), Tangled and Frozen, Superbook, Planes and Planes: Fire and Rescue, puzzles, story books (no more board books for you!), coloring (you're starting to stay in the lines!), dancing, "playing" our piano, dressing up, playing with your cars and trains and princess dolls, movies on the big screen (you saw Finding Dory as your first movie, and it was magical), roller coasters (actual roller coasters! You made your 3rd trip to Universal, and you had the BEST time riding rides), playing at parks and the museum, Christmas, and cooking with us in the kitchen.

Dressed as Rapunzel

You decided that this tutu was just a "short Rapunzel dress."

Playing the piano

Organizing the princesses

Seeing George at Universal

All the love for the Christmas tree

Advent readings with Daddy

Some of our favorite of your character and personal qualities that have been so evident this year are: compassion, careful thinking, kindness, sensitivity to the needs and feelings of others, a deep interest in Jesus and His love for us, courage to do new things, eagerness to befriend and include others, HUGE creativity and imagination, ability to concentrate and focus, discernment of character qualities in others, impressive memory (you remembered things from when you were 2 that stunned us), insight into everyday situations, gratitude, enthusiasm, and your wonderful sense of humor.

Silly girl! Dressed as a pirate for free donuts at Krispy Kreme

Year 3 was challenging in many ways (your burgeoning opinions and independence were often at odds with your parents; sometimes, we called you our "threenager." Yeah. It could get a little intense.) and kept us on our toes (physically and mentally), but we thoroughly enjoyed watching you grow and learn and become more you. We're so thankful for you, Claire, and cannot begin to measure how much we love you.

XOXO,
Mommy and Daddy

If you haven't been keeping up with the incredibly funny and insightful things Claire has been saying and doing this year, click on the tags Around here lately and Snippets and Stories at the end of this post to bring up those links. 

Snippets and Stories: Fall Edition

I realize that it is, in fact, no longer fall. But I've never claimed to be terribly prompt with blog updates. This is just a little collection of small Claire stories that I'm treasuring in my heart...and on the blog.

I really love to listen to The Piano Guys' mash up of "Fight Song" and "Amazing Grace." Claire does, too, so I'll pull it up occasionally for us to listen to. This fall, we were listening to it while I was taking care of some household-y tasks. Partway through the song, Claire was twirling to the music, so I picked Lily up and twirled with her, which thrilled Claire. She looked up at me, smiling SO big, and said, "Mommy, we're princesses!"

Claire has a few sets of the magnetic dolls that are basically like modern paper dolls. She really enjoys playing with them, and over the past few months, her imagination and creativity has really expanded while she plays. One day, she was playing with them, and I couldn't quite tell what the conversation between the dolls was about. After I asked, she said, "Oh, I'm just being the Good Samaritan."

Back before the semester began, Brad's program hosted a dinner up on campus. We went, even though it was a rough afternoon for the Boswell girls. There were some cranky attitudes, and the weather was HOT, so on our walk from the car to our destination, we were sweaty and hungry...just not ideal situations with little people. In the midst of this sweaty, hungry walk, I realized that Lily was also unhappy because she had pooped. And then I realized that she had POOPED. It was so bad. No wonder she was upset. It was everywhere. EVERYWHERE. Brad and I found a shady spot on the sidewalk and proceeded to do all the things necessary for dealing with a blowout (all the diapers/wipes/clothing changes/etc). It took forever and was gross and there was a yellow jacket hovering the whole time. Bleh. When we finished up that two-man undertaking, Claire said, ever-so-casually, "Lily tooted." 

At the same Duke dinner, Claire was struggling to be happy with the food or the lack of other children or with the amount of attention she was getting. It was just not a terribly pleasant meal (which was especially unfortunate, as it's the kind of meal where you have to talk to people you see once a year/make lots of small talk/fielding frustrated 3-year-olds is particularly difficult). Eventually, she was so frustrated with how I was handling the situation that she looked right in my face and roared. Like a lion. In my face. 
What??
Yep. Roared in my face. I had to discipline her, obviously, but I really just wanted to laugh. Because honestly? I felt a bit like roaring myself.

Brad labeled this interaction as a "near miss," given it could have gone so badly, had we not investigated her true meaning. Claire was playing one day, and out of, seemingly, the clear blue, she came up to us and said (oh-so-dramatically), "Get rid of Lily, please!" We were stunned. And horrified. Until we questioned her a bit and realized that she had been playing "Madeline" and quoting parts of Madeline's Rescue, during which Lord Cuckooface tells (asks?) Miss Clavel to get rid of Genevieve (the dog). From there, she had expanded her imagination and substituted "Lily" instead. WHEW. This was such a relief.

We were playing with Claire's Disney princess dolls one day when Claire started thinking and talking to me about the various characters from Tangled. I found it so fascinating to listen to how her mind processed various qualities that she had identified in the characters, determining whether their behavior was good or bad and why that was the case. For example, Mother Gothel ("that lady") was not very nice to Rapunzel. "Is she bad, Mommy, because she's not very nice?" "Is Flynn Rider good or bad?" This is a tricky one, given his evolution over the course of the story. "Rapunzel is a good girl because she takes care of Pascal and works at her house." It's nice to see that she's taking time to be thoughtful and reflective, even as a little girl.

I know that I've mentioned Superbook before. It's a favorite around here and introduces lots of wonderful conversations about the Bible. At the end of each episode, there's is a video montage recapping the story, and there's a song (called "The Salvation Poem") that goes along with it. It's a song about the gospel/salvation. Frequently, when Claire is falling asleep at naptime and bedtime, we'll hear her singing it in her little voice over the monitor, and it is so very precious: "Jesus who died upon the cross/ and rose again to save the lost/ forgive me now of all my sin/ come be my Savior, Lord, and Friend/ Take my heart and make it new/ Help me, Lord, to live for you!" I pray she always sings this.

This past year has brought such an awareness of Jesus and His importance in the life of our family. So, whenever she sees a cross (or anything that looks remotely like a cross), she asks, "Is this the cross of Jesus?"

Barbara has been building Claire's collection of Otis books over the past 6 months or so. Otis is a little tractor who has adventures and is a kind soul with excellent character qualities, and we love him. One of the books is Otis and the Tornado. I'd never talked to Claire about Union's tornado before or shared any of my tornado anxiety with her (although there was a tornado warning back in the spring last year, and she was impressed with how fast I whisked us and a tornado bag into the closet), but she picked up from the story that tornadoes are very dangerous. She started asking me if a tornado was going to come through her room and was a little anxious about going to bed because of this concern. After a day or two of answering these kinds of questions, I decided to pass on to her one of my coping mechanisms for anxiety-inducing situations: make a plan. So, we sat down and talked about tornadoes and, more specifically, how we prepare for and act during a tornado. We talked about how to stay calm, put on shoes, get a quick "tornado bag" put together, go potty very fast, grab our pillows, and go to our safe place (the coat closet). And we also pray. It definitely stuck with her, because she continued to talk about tornadoes for the next couple of days, but she would talk about them in terms of how we act if one is coming. She sounded confident and calm, and I could not have asked for a better response!


Around October, Claire had a bit of a relapse regarding church nursery. It was very stressful for all of us and made doing church things rather frustrating and difficult. We're still working on recovering her comfort level. But, one thing we discovered that helped Claire to cope with being left in nursery was that she would calm down if they would let her go in the "Lambs" room with Lily. It warmed my heart to know that being with her sister brought her comfort and peace in a difficult situation (although I'd prefer that she be ok with her age-appropriate room, generally speaking).

Our whole family sings "Sweet Baby James" to Lily on a regular basis. It's become her song, and she really seems to love it. Claire has learned a lot of the words and will often sing it to Lily when she senses Lily is upset. The last time Lily had a check up and was crying after her shots, Claire jumped up and started singing "Sweet Baby James" immediately. And Lily stopped crying pronto.

Claire has seen quite a few people use their fingers to whistle/cheer folks on. We were at one of Brad's intramural soccer games once, and I looked over to see Claire with her fingers in her mouth, making noises. I told her to take her fingers out of her mouth, and she looked at me so seriously and explained that she was "whistling for Daddy's team."

I have a post about our trip to Universal (back in October! I'm a little behind.), but this story was not included. Our last morning at Universal was a little hectic getting out the door. We had to do some clever arranging of our schedules in order to accommodate naps and check out from the hotel. Sometimes (rarely, but sometimes) we skip naps, but that is just asking for a meltdown when you're at a theme park. So, that morning, I was in quite a hurry trying to get all of our ducks in a row, and I sent Claire to potty before we headed out. She'd been in there for a minute when I heard her frantically calling, "Mommy! MOMMY! I fell in!" I hurried in and, sure enough, Claire's skinny little self was stuck down in the toilet. Now, I didn't stop to take a picture, but I did double up laughing about it. I'm not proud of that moment, but it was just a little funny. I got her unstuck and comforted, and we eventually laughed about it together. A little later that day, we were riding "The Cat in the Hat" ride in Seuss Landing, and at one point, the fish who is advising the children to avoid the Cat, is seen spinning around in a toilet. Claire pipes up with, "I did that today, too! I was trying to get the toilet paper, and daddy didn't want me to fall in!" Not at all sure where Brad figured into the story, but we all laughed at Claire's assessment.

Hope you enjoyed some glimpses into life with Claire. It's always an adventure!

Snippets and Stories: Claire Summer Shenanigans

I know that I do a monthly post of Claire quotes, but I also have a collection of short little stories about her that I thought I'd document, as well. Life is just so interesting with Claire around...

A couple months ago, Brad put out some plants in our backyard. This is the second summer that we're trying our hands at growing a few plants, and we're hoping for the best. As he was putting the plants out and starting to water them, Claire discovered that she loves the hose. And she really wanted to use it on the plants. Unfortunately, Brad wasn't finished getting everything in place. He told her that it would be about 15 minutes. Apparently, in Claire's mind, counting down the 15 minutes meant singing the ABC's (sometimes, when I need her to wait on something, I give her a song to sing). When she finished it, Brad told her that she would actually need to sing it about 12 more times. She paused for second and then started singing "12, 12, 12, 12" to the tune of the ABC's. She's a problem-solver, y'all.

Some of our dear friends who moved away this summer (#summerofheartbreak) had a going-away party at the beginning of the summer. Colum's parents hosted it at their house in Raleigh. I should take this moment to mention that Colum's dad is a federal judge. You might be able to imagine the kind of house they have. To say I was a bit nervous about my 3-year-old in such a nice house would be an understatement. However, Claire behaved beautifully and did not break or stain a single thing. She did, however, keep wandering away from us once the dessert table was laid. I lost count of how many time Brad, Colum, our friend Michael, or I found her sneaky self hanging at the dessert table (and this is while keeping pretty close tabs on her; she's good, y'all). The last time I found her at the table, I walked up on her explaining the different desserts to a fellow partygoer, describing which she thought would be best...and making puppy eyes, perhaps hoping for a dropped morsel. And y'all, I'm pretty sure she would have been given something had I not walked up in that moment. The lady she was talking to looked at my guiltily; I'm confident she was thiiiiis close to giving Claire pound cake.

On the way home from the Devers' going-away party, Lily lost her paci in her car seat and was crying. I couldn't reach her and tried to comfort her with soothing words (didn't work, shockingly). Simultaneously, Claire had been feeling some fear of the dark around us, and we had been talking about how God is always with us and watching over us. We even spent some time praying that God would give Claire peace. After a few minutes of Lily crying, Claire piped up with her own thoughts for Lily. "It's ok, Wiwwy, God is protecting you. I'm going to pray for you. Dear God, please give Baby Sister some peace. In Jesus' name, amen. Baby Sister, there's not a dinosaur, so it's ok, Baby Sister." And don't you know- Lily stopped crying.

Back in June, we had what Brad dubbed "The Day of Near Misses." Until we unpacked the actual meaning behind two of Claire's comments, we were very nervous that Claire was beginning to express feelings of angst toward Lily. 
Comment 1: I want to take Lily back to the hospital, Mommy.
Comment 2: Don't worry, Wiwwy. I will find you a loving home.
I was so concerned. Wouldn't you be?? I worked on cracking the meanings behind the comments and finally got it worked out. 
Regarding comment 1
Erin: Claire, why do you want to take Lily back to the hospital?
Claire: So I can ride the alligator! (elevator)
Erin: Well golly, there's an elevator at church. What if we rode that one?
Claire: Yes! I want to!
Erin: Can we keep Lily?
Claire: Yes!
Regarding comment 2
Erin: Claire, why do you need to find Lily a loving home?
Claire: It's from the episode George!
Erin: (smacks forehead) The one where the lady thinks Hundley doesn't have an owner and takes him to the animal shelter?
Claire: Yeah! I will help Lily.
Erin: Ok. But, we'll keep her in our loving home, ok?
Claire: Ok!

Claire often watches episodes of Superbook (Bible story episodes), and one of the main characters is named Joy. Apparently, Claire really connects with Joy because anytime she is pretending, one of her pretend characters is "Joy." Now, when I say "pretending," I mean she takes random objects and uses them the way some children would use dolls. And when I say "random objects," I mean things like salad dressing bottles, a can of dry shampoo, a turkey baster, a spatula, her shampoo bottle, and the like. Practically anything can be Joy. I know this because many times, I have been tidying up and have been informed- very dramatically- that I was putting away Joy! Side note: when we were desperately trying to choose a name for Lily, I suggested we just name her Joy, since it was such a popular name around our house anyway. 

Here we have Joy (the Italian dressing) and Joy's Mommy (the Ranch).

In conjunction with the random-objects-named-Joy habit, we were eating lunch one day when Claire took her fork and stuck it in the straw of her water bottle and said, "Ta-da!" When we asked what she was doing with her fork, she said that it was Mr. Colum (one of our friends) doing a trick! Well, yes Claire, that WOULD be a trick!

Apparently, that is Colum doing some impressive gymnastic moves.

Claire is an excellent nighttime sleeper. And as such, in an attempt to continue progress with overnight potty training (daytime has been under control from over a year), we get her up at 10:00 or 10:30 every night as we're going to bed and take her to the bathroom. She almost never fully wakes up for this process, as in we have to stabilize her as she sits there so that she doesn't fall off or in. After she's finished and is heading back to her room, we've noticed that- even in her sleep- once she crosses the threshold of her room, she prance-runs all the way back to her bed. Every single time.

Claire has a very tender heart, which we love about her. She's very sensitive to others' feelings and always wants to help when she sees someone in distress. A few weeks ago, Brad took Claire to the museum for a morning date. While they were playing in the treehouse exhibit (yes, there is a treehouse exhibit, and it's awesome), there was a little girl who was slightly older than Claire who was crying. Claire asked Brad what was wrong with the little girl. Brad, obviously, did not know. Claire took it upon herself to go introduce herself to the little girl and ask her what was wrong. I don't think the little girl chose to make Claire her confidant, but at least she knew someone saw her and cared about her distress. I really hope that we're able to encourage this compulsion to kindness as Claire grows. What a gift that would be to others.

Back in May, my aunt and uncle came to stay with me for a few days while Brad was out of town. It was a huge help and blessing, as Lily was only 6 weeks old. My uncle sleeps with an oxygen machine, and apparently, he set it up after Claire went to bed the first night, causing her to be very confused by its presence the next morning. She was a little scared of the noises it made, so we had to find a way for her to think of it as a friendly addition, Thus, the oxygen machine became Uncle Paul's droid. Like on Star Wars. Claire said "Good morning" and "Good night" to the droid every day and was quite sad when it left to return to Alabama.

The droid.

I'm keeping a running list of stories and snippets like this to post about, primarily because I don't want to forget. These are little glimpses of Claire's life that I love and want to remember, but they're also so small comparatively that I'm afraid I won't be able to remember them. They're much funnier in real life when we can include facial expressions, so if you read any of these little snippets and want to see a reenactment, ask us about it in person sometime. (Note: my retellings are much more dramatic than Brad's, so keep that in mind)