Around here lately: February 2016 edition

Oh, Claire. The things she comes up with. Enjoy, friends.

Me: Claire, why do you make such a mess?
Claire: I don't know, Mommy, but you're welcome!

"Look, Mommy! I have glasses just like Daddy!"

Claire seems to have this idea that, sometimes, when we tell her "no" to a certain request (i.e. can she watch Curious George), it's because we don't understand how to bring about the outcome she wants. For example:
Claire: Can I watch George?
One of us: No, Claire, not right now.
apparently what Claire says in her head: Oh goodness...here we go again. They don't get it. I'll walk them through it, bless them.
Claire (out loud): Mommy, could you come in here? Could you get the remotes? Could you use the remotes to turn on George? (all said very patiently and, perhaps, ever-so-slightly patronizingly)

when asked to say the 23rd Psalm for my in-laws while FaceTiming: "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, and He gives me M&M's."

Brad and Claire play a game where Brad "steals" her nose and transplants it to other places on her head or puts it in his pockets. She always responds: "Can you put it back on my 'nother nose?"

One afternoon while Brad was at Duke, Claire looked at me, touched her nose, and said, "Daddy took my nose to Duke with him today." I later learned that Brad had "stolen" her nose earlier that morning and had forgotten to give it back to her. I guess he really did take it with him.

Dress-up and pretend games with Daddy.

Claire: "Mommy, Can I wear your water bottle top like a kingdom?" (I think she meant crown)

Me: "It's your guitar!"
Claire: "It's my okawaywee!" (ukulele)

"The sun came out, Mommy. It means I'm AWAKE!" ahem...she had already been awake for a while.

Claire: "Okay, okay. Chill down." a combo of "calm down" and "chill out." Phrases she hears regularly.

Claire: "Let's go get in the ELLIGATOR!" (pretend that we're riding in an elevator by shutting ourselves in the coat closet)

Claire: "Mommy, I'm so SCARY!" (she actually means that she's so scared. We're working on it.)

Just in the past month or so, Claire has become very interested in Baby Sister. She asks a lot of questions about her, wants to meet her, and has started making plans for her. Some excerpts:
"Can Baby Sister come to dinner with Daddy's friends?" (when we had some of Brad's students over for dinner)
"Can we make cookies for Baby Sister?"
"Can Baby Sister come to my birthday party?"
"Can we show Baby Sister the snow before it goes away?"

If you remember from this post, Claire has decided that New Baby will be bringing her (Claire) a "happy birthday cake." We are encouraging this idea, because we are thinking it will help New Baby buy Claire's affection, and we are all for that. Since that post, Claire has specified that she wants a "pink cake with blueberries and strawberries." We've also begun suspecting that Claire believes that she baby is actually baking this cake while inside Mommy's tummy. As in, that is her sole purpose: to bake Claire's cake. I got confirmation of this the other day:
Me: "Claire, what do you think Baby Sister is doing today?"
Claire: "She is making a cake in Mommy's tummy!"

after being told that she can't touch/hold/play with some item: "Mommy, please share."

visiting with some acquaintances who have a 9-month old: "Mommy, the baby is crying. Can I pet her?"

while fighting croup: "Mommy, can you feel me better?" (roughly translated: can you make me feel better?)

while chasing after Brad: "Wait for me, Mister Daddy!"

"Oh, look! The hearts are dancing!" (referring to our Valentine's heart garland blowing around when the heat turned on)

Rather than wishing everyone a "Happy Valentine's Day, " Claire wished everyone a "HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY CARD!!"

Brad and Claire have tickle fights regularly. It's their thing, and it's terribly cute. However, Claire has a habit of slipping into screams, rather than laughs and squeals. With the state my head has been in for most of this pregnancy, I can't handle the screaming very well. So, Brad started telling her, very seriously, that "screaming kills the fun." The other night, they were playing, and she'd been given a few "kills the fun" warnings. Brad set her down (not to quit the game but to take care of something else), and she looked at him oh-so-seriously and asked, "Did the fun leave, Daddy?"

to Brad at breakfast time: "Would you like to sit at my little table? I've got a little seat!"

This is an every morning ritual. Brad is an awesome dad.

while wiggling her hips to the beat of the Curious George theme song: "Mommy, my bottom is kind of dancing!"

commenting on the size of an egg we cracked into a bowl: "That sure is a biggie one!"

declaring her need for hydration: "I, Claire Elizabit Boswell, need some water!"

to Brad: "Did you get some coffee, Sillypants Daddy-o?"

again, to Brad: "Could you sit next to me- Claire Elizabit Boswell?"

Me: Claire, you need to wait patiently.
Claire: I don't want to wait patiently. I just want to wait.

while tucking me into my bed (pretending): "I'll give you clean water and a loving home. You can relax." I look at her with a very confused face. "It's from a episode of George, Mommy!"

Loving on her bottle of Pedialyte during her first ever stomach bug.

Claire really loves spotting American flags. She doesn't really understand that it represents the country we live in or anything; she just really likes spotting them. We were randomly watching an international speed skating competition one day and explained to her that one of the skaters was from the United States. <blank stare> We switched to "she represents the American flag." So, while the race was going on Claire sat there chanting, "Go, Flag, go!"
(We're planning to work on her "USA! USA!" chant before the Olympics.)

We have several plastic place mats that are maps: one of the US and one of the world. Claire calls them "place maps." I think it's pretty appropriate, actually.

"Look! I'm wearing Big Bear!"

After I had been fighting a week-long headache-migraine marathon, I was just struggling. So hard. One evening, I was lying on the couch, and Claire asked me what was wrong. When I answered that I wasn't feeling well, she replied, "Jesus will love your heart, and Claire and Daddy will take care of you. Don't worry."

Letter to my Little Bear: Year 3

Dear Bearsy,

Oi. Another revolution of the planet around the sun has brought us to another birthday for you. I know parents say it all the time, but time is flying. Or, rather, that other thing they say: The days are long but the years are short. It's a platitude for a reason; it's so true. Some days feel interminable (not because I don't love hanging out with you...you just have so much energy) and like I'm totally ruining your life with my parenting choices, and some days fly by with busyness or just how cute and sweet you can be. 

On your 2nd birthday (2015)

Birthday Par-TAY 2015

Winter 2015

I'm so unbelievably grateful that I get to stay home with you all day every day. We have a lot of fun! Some of our favorite things to do are paint with your water colors, go to the museum, play with your cars, visit with friends your age, sing songs, read books, work together in the kitchen, clean the bathrooms (it's true- you love to do this), work on laundry (you love to do this, too), eat picnics on the floor of the living room, play with your princess dolls, and watch Curious George. We change things up pretty often and do things like go to Target to walk around and get popcorn. Or go to Chick-Fil-A for drinks and playing on the playground. You're a pretty happy-go-lucky little bear, so we can have fun doing all kinds of things.

Cow Appreciation Day!

Popcorn at Target.

You've accomplished a lot this year, too! First of all: you finally got some hair! I know. We have all be marveling over it. It's so soft and is still curly, even after a couple of trims. We put it in piggy tails most of the time, which is a hit everywhere we go because it's basically the cutest. You also transitioned to your big girl bed like a champ. We asked you over and over if you were ready, and you repeatedly said "no." Until you just decided that it was time. Once you made up your mind, there was no turning back. You sleep in a bed that used to live at Granddaddy's house, with your matroshka pillow that Laura Kay made you, and your first birthday quilt that Mrs. Tidwell made you. You're pretty much surrounded by reminders of people who love you every time you go to sleep! 

Before you had much hair...

I won't linger on this one, but I will acknowledge it: you're mostly potty-trained. You have the easy part of potty training down pat, but the more difficult part of pottying is still a work in progress. And that's where I'll leave it.

Super Claire for Halloween

You've been learning to do chores and daily tasks, too, which just reminds me of what a grown little person you are. I'm simultaneously really proud and relieved and also a little sad that you're such a big girl that you can be so independent. You've learned to take your dishes to the sink after eating, you help in sweeping up under your chair after meals (because you make BIG messes), you help make your bed and brush your teeth, and you've become pretty adept at changing your own clothes. These are all excellent skills that we are excited about. Especially with a new baby coming, when we're going to want you to be able to take care of some things on your own. Whew.

Although this looks like a selfie, it actually wasn't. And, it's a favorite of mine.

One of the things that we find so very helpful and also keeps us in stitches is your ability to talk like a small adult. You're really quite articulate. You can almost always tell us what you're thinking about or describe to us what you want or need. It is so very handy, especially when compared to the phase of life where we had to guess everything. Here are a few favorite quotes from the past year:

when asked to say the 23rd Psalm for Gran, Grandpa, and Ray Ray while FaceTiming: "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, and He gives me M&M's."

said any time the concept of a nap is mentioned: "But it's such a good morning!"

Chatting with the bathtub menagerie.

"I have to pay the tickle tax!" (your response when Daddy won't let you pass until he tickles you thoroughly) variation: "Don't tickle me tax, Daddy!"

"Go, toes, go!" (an encouragement to your toes when putting your feet into your pants/tights/socks)

Daddy, coming downstairs and seeing you in the bathroom: "Whatcha doing, Claire?"

You: (singing a made-up tune) "I'm sitting on the potty! I'm sitting on the potty! I'm sitting on the potty BEE-DEE-HA!"

Kat: See you later, alligator!

You: See you later, Crocodile!

(during a post-nap meltdown wherein you were crying uncontrollably, didn't want to leave your room, didn't want me in your room, and refused to calm down.)

You: "Could you leave?"

Me: "No."

You: "Could you close the door and go on the other side?"

"I put them in the tunnels." (referring to putting your arms into the sleeves of your shirt)

While drawing on your MagnaDoodle with intense focus:
Me: What are you doing, Claire?
You: I'm studying German.

As I was correcting you for your attitude:
Me: You are getting too big for your britches.
You: But I want to wear them.

After I had been fighting a week-long headache-migraine marathon, you asked me what was wrong. When I answered that I wasn't feeling well, you replied, "Jesus will love your heart, and Claire and Daddy will take care of you. Don't worry."

We're also really proud of how you've worked hard to overcome your fear of being left in the nursery at church. I know it was very scary and left you feeling so uncertain, but you did a great job of summoning your courage and learning to trust us that we will always come back for you. It has enabled us to become more involved at church and at Bible study, which has been a huge gift. We are so thankful for your ability to work hard on overcoming your fear and develop your courage.

Daddy took this picture of you, and it melted my heart when I saw it.

It's also been really exciting to watch you learn to pray (both the Lord's Prayer and prayers from your heart) and start learning small passages of scripture (the Lord's Prayer, Isaiah 9:6, and Psalm 23). It makes us very glad to see you learning things about God! It also makes us glad to see when you show kindness to others and concern for them when they are sad or don't feel well. And recently, you've also been very sensitive to when you've acted ugly and need to apologize. This is an excellent trait to develop, and we are so proud of you.

This was the first time that you said, "I love you, Daddy!" unprompted by us.

You've had a pretty travel-y year! You usually do, you lucky duck. You've made numerous trips to both Tennessee and Alabama to visit family, but you've also spent time sightseeing in Savannah, Georgia, having a blast at Universal in Orlando, Florida (plus a short visit with Ben, Molly, and James in Jacksonville), beaching at Topsail Island, North Carolina (which you call "Cofagnana"), and touring around Charleston, South Carolina while visiting Takia. That's 5 states (not including North Carolina)- well done! We'll see what we can add during this next year. I'm pulling for Virginia and D.C., personally.

Ready to travel, guys.

You found out this year about getting a baby sister. That is BIG news for a little girl. At first, you kind of ignored it, but you've really started warming up to the idea. We talk about Baby Sister everyday, and you like to imagine things that we're going to do with her when she finally shows up. Most importantly, you just know that she is going to bring you a birthday cake (a pink one with strawberries and blueberries, by the way). We're pretty confident that you're going to be a great big sister and take such good care of her. I hope you grow up to be best friends (and that you're not too bossy...good luck with that one. It's a big sister thing. I'm pretty sure Bo still finds me bossy.)

Snow day 2016!

This past year has been a really wonderful year with you; we have thoroughly enjoyed watching you learn things and master things and say things. You've made us laugh SO HARD so many times, and yes, you've provided us with opportunities to practice patience and gentleness and self-control. We've been baffled by some parenting issues and have felt like we had no clue what to do on several occasions. I've heard people say that "every age is my favorite age," and so far, I've found that to be true for myself with you. We feel so very blessed that God entrusted you to us, and we are so thankful for all the days we've had with you. We can't wait for all the days that are to come. You are just our very favorite little bear, and WE LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU'LL EVER KNOW.

Happy 3rd birthday, Bearsy.

Love,

Mommy and Daddy-o

*If you want to read through any of the other letters I've written her, click on the Letter to my Little Bear label underneath this post. It should take you to all of the previous letters. 

Tornadoes came through Durham, and I think it's my fault.

This unscheduled Thursday post is brought to you by Durham's CRAZY weather this week. Do you remember how I wrote this post only a few short weeks ago, commenting on how Durham basically never gets tornadoes? Ahem. I do believe I jinxed us.

The truth is that Durham rarely ever gets tornadic activity; we're east of the mountains, so a lot of severe weather peters out once it gets to west NC. We're also far enough inland that hurricanes don't generally do too much damage. Our boring landscape here in the Piedmont (what our area of North Carolina is called) actually insulates us from a lot of undesirable weather.

Except when it doesn't. Like this week.

I actually was unaware that we had weather headed our way. It's been overcast and rainy for several days, so I'd gotten used to the dreary weather (and the increased intensity of my never-ending headache). I did notice the temperature and humidity yesterday morning when Claire and I headed out to run some errands. Having grown up in North Alabama (Tornado Alley) and gone to school/lived and worked in West Tennessee (Tornado Alley) and had a traumatic, life-changing encounter with a tornado, I am very attuned to temperature and humidity changes in February-March-April. It has only happened a few times while living in Durham, but they've never developed into severe weather. Not so yesterday. It was warm and sticky-clammy, and I did not like it.

During Claire's nap time, I tried to nap a little myself, but I had to get up partway through to check my blood sugar and never fell back to sleep. That turned out to be a blessing, because I'm not sure I would have heard my phone's severe weather notification otherwise. I think it said something like "Tornado Warning: Seek Shelter Immediately."

WHOA. DEFCON situation.

I moved extremely fast for a pregnant woman. Claire was still napping, so I spent about 3 minutes gathering items for my tornado bag and prepping the coat closet as well as I could. Did I mention that Brad was at Duke? Because he was. That is basically Worst Case Scenario for me. Anxiety over tornadoes is still alive and well in my heart, so I like to have all of my people with me. But, you play the cards you're dealt. 

First things first: Tennis Shoes. Always my first move. 

Secondly: Grab a bag and fill it with essentials. I filled my bag with a small box of valuables, some cash, my glucose testing paraphernalia, medications, a phone charger (oh, and my phone was only 60% charged. How nice.), a few clementines, a banana, some string cheese, a water bottle, and my purse (which had wallet, i.d. and keys). I also grabbed a few pillows, a handful of pull-ups, a pack of wipes, and a few toys.

Thirdly: Remove bulky and potentially-dangerous-if-they-fall-on-you-during-a-storm items from the closet. I hauled out the vacuum cleaner, a set of TV trays, a couple of boxes stored up on the shelves, and a bunch of other random-in-the-way items. 

I did all of that in less than 5 minutes and then sprinted (or whatever the pregnant equivalent is) up the stairs, took a deep breath to calm my nerves so I wouldn't scare Claire, and woke Claire up. I explained that there was some bad weather and that we were going to sit in the closet downstairs so that we could be safe (she likes to play "elevator" in there, so this wasn't an extremely odd concept to her). I made sure to grab her lovey and some shoes as we headed downstairs. She wasn't keen on wearing her shoes, but alas, it's a rule. I placated her with string cheese. I made sure the tv was on local weather and grabbed our emergency radio and lantern.

We were ready, friends.

And then the power went out. 

And then I discovered that both our radio and our lantern were dead. AWESOME.

So, my mom and Brad kept me posted with texts, and Bear and I ate snacks and sang songs for a looooong time. I also discovered that pregnant me does NOT fit well on the floor of our coat closet. I also did, what I consider, an admirable job of keeping my anxiety at bay so that Claire wouldn't catch it. I felt my insides constrict with every howl of the wind. A little bit of panic rose up in my chest every time rain beat against the windows. I mentally planned out how I would shield Claire if the wind broke through the house and it started crumbling around us. I'm sure my doctor would have been concerned about my blood pressure, had it been taken during the storm. My body physically reacts to severe weather, post-2008 tornado, and I'm starting think it always will.

Once we finally got the all-clear, we discovered that only half our street lost power (our half, of course). Weird. And that, to Claire, an hour of being forced to stay in the closet is akin to being stranded on a desert island for years. She needed to take off her shoes PRONTO. And she needed to run around and look out all of the windows. And she NEEDED to make our Lent lamb craft that I had told her we would make (you know, before the tornado came through). Thankfully, Brad got home as soon as he could, which calmed me down a lot. We ended up picking up barbecue sandwiches at the little restaurant on the corner and just hanging out until they got our power back up and running (which wasn't too long).

I found that watching the news in a place that rarely experiences tornadoes is very different than watching the news in a place that gets them more regularly. It seemed that even the meteorologists were taken aback. The anchors kept making comments like, "Having a tree fall on your house just seems unimaginable" and "Losing your home...that's just so life changing." I'm glad that severe weather is so rare around here that the anchors don't even know what to say (there aren't even tornado sirens in our part of town...yikes!), but it was just so weird to hear them sounding so unnerved and even a little confused. I'm accustomed to living in places where this kind of weather is not unusual, there are systems in place for dealing with it, and people know what to do (and generally take it seriously). Is this considered culture shock?

So, that was our mid-week excitement. We're fine. Our house and vehicles are fine. Our power is back. And- we know I can get tornado-ready in 5 minutes flat. These are all excellent outcomes.

Lent with Claire 2016: Hosanyah!

Since my last update on observing Lent with Claire, we've added a few more symbols to our Resurrection Eggs repertoire. She's been dying to open all of the eggs and asks about it daily, but so far, we're still sticking to the plan of having her wait as we open them one at a time and spend a few days going over each one. But, we have added the second egg (an oyster cracker representing the Lord's Supper) and the third egg (a few quarters representing the silver that Judas was paid to betray Jesus). I was really excited on the night that we introduced the second egg (after spending about 3 days on the first) when Claire held the cracker in her hand and immediately asked, "What does it mean?" It let me know that she understood that each of the things inside the eggs represent something. I don't know how much she understands of our explanations, but she's connecting on at least some level, which is very encouraging. In fact, last night, I asked her what she remembered about the bread, and she said, "Jesus broke it and ate it!" Very true (well, with a few other details).

Oh! The "palm branch" craft that we made last week has been waved enthusiastically as we talk about the eggs every day. She has totally been into that. Note to self: Claire really likes crafts. We did another craft this week, although it didn't tie in directly with any of our new eggs, unlike the palm branch of last week. I chose to do a really basic, paper plate lamb. We talked about how Jesus is the Lamb of God, and she thoroughly enjoyed gluing cotton balls and googly eyes onto the plate. I had told her earlier in the day that we would make a lamb after her nap...only to have the afternoon thrown into a tizzy, thanks to a tornado blowing through (??). But, that's a story for another day. All you need to know for the purposes of this post is that we made our lamby craft while sitting right next to a window (after the storms had blown over) so that we could see; we lost power during the storm, but Claire was determined that we were going to make her lamb.

Sorry about the lighting...power outage.

I might have made life more difficult for myself early on in this Resurrection Egg process: when we first talked about the "palm branch" (leaf from the yard) and how the people said, "Hosanna!" (Claire says "hosanyah") as Jesus rode into town, on a whim, I sang a song that we've sung in our past two churches on Palm Sunday. She loved it and asks for it during our times talking about the eggs, as well as at nap time. But then, she kind of expected a song for egg #2 (bread). I drew a total blank and couldn't think of anything. Brad stepped up on that one, though, and started singing a song that our Boston church used to sing after communion each week, which has a verse about the bread. I'm not sure how long we can keep up the song element (especially for things like the wine-soaked sponge?)...if anyone has any ideas, please chime in!

We've also been consistent in reading through the Lent reading plan for the Jesus Storybook Bible. Claire has been much more involved in the process than she has been in the past, which is simultaneously great and a little wearying. It's wearying in the sense that her "involvement" involves a lot of talking over us while we're reading, pointing out things that she sees in the pictures, interpreting what she thinks is going on, and repeating parts of the story that stuck out to her. The night we read the story of Joseph ("Jofuss") and his brothers, she was FIXATED on the illustration of Pharaoh dreaming about the cows. She kept talking about how he was "so scary of those cows, Mommy, he's so scary of them!" And, when reading about Moses and the Plagues, she could not stop touching and commenting on the pictures of the "ants" and "bees" (flies and locusts). Stopping to acknowledge her comments yields absolutely no results, so pressing forward really is the best plan. Brad is good at this. I am not. Bless us all.

We have plans to introduce her to a new-to-her passage of scripture to memorize especially for Lent, but we're still finishing out the 23rd Psalm, so we'll see how that plan goes. We're having some trouble with "surely, goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life." No idea why.

So far, I am so pleased with how our Lent plans are playing out. She really seems to be connecting with what we're doing, as well as enjoying it. I'm hoping that we're able to encourage her involvement and enthusiasm over the next few weeks!

New Baby *might* be a drama queen.

My 28-week doctor's appointment (almost 4 weeks ago) was full of all kinds of fun, like getting my TDaP and Rhogam shots. One in the arm, one in the hip. Both brought about much soreness and wincing. And the Rhogam needle is HUGE (and hurts). Also, for those who don't know anything about Rhogam, here's some info about it. I have to do things the hard way, it seems. Thank you, genetics.

While I was getting those taken care of (and seeing the doctor), I was also in the midst of my 1-hour glucose test...which I failed.

What??

This surprised me a little because I passed it with no problem when I was pregnant with Claire. I figured I had eaten something that spiked my blood sugar. 

So, a week later, came my 3-hour glucose tolerance test, which is taken after fasting (my least favorite thing whether pregnant or not)...which I also failed. Failing this one means I have a gestational diabetes diagnosis.

Good grief. How??

My body is just really bad at pregnancy, guys. Preeclampsia with Claire, diabetes with New Baby. I don't know what my deal is. And the very uncomfortable part is the fact that since I have already had preeclampsia, I have a higher (albeit not terribly high) chance of developing it again. I'd really prefer not to, as the stuff they pump into you to keep you safe during and after delivery is very uncomfortable and miserable. That, and preeclampsia is yet another complication I'd rather avoid for, you know, health reasons.

I've been trying to tell New Baby that this drama is not ok. We strive to be low-maintenance around here, and diabetes does not fall into that "low maintenance" category. 

The two questions I keep getting are a) did I have diabetes with Claire? and b) what does this mean for my everyday life? Great questions.

Answer a: no. Didn't even have to take the 3-hour test. 

Answer b: a few things.

First of all, this doesn't mean I have diabetes in my regular, non-pregnant life. Gestational diabetes (also referred to as GDM: gestational diabetes mellitus) is the result of the placenta (ew, pregnancy words) complicating the body's production and regulation of insulin. It also does not mean that the baby has diabetes (whew). It does means I have to be a bit more regimented in my daily life. Unless something drastic happens (knock on wood, friends), I can manage it with diet and exercise (ha ha...exercising. That's funny. Does walking up and down the stairs in my house count? I think it should for 3rd trimester gals who don't even really exercise when not pregnant.). 

I met with a nutritionist today to get a crash course in how to adjust my diet to manage my blood sugar over the next couple of months. Growing up with the parents that I did, I already knew most of the information that she shared about carbohydrates and sugar, breads/pastas/fruit, etc. Plus, I'd already started making my own adjustments in between finding out about my GDM and getting an appointment with the nutritionist, so I didn't really have too much brand new information. Except for...

...how to use a glucometer. Because being pregnant in the 3rd trimester isn't fun enough, I also get to use a glucometer and prick my finger FOUR TIMES A DAY until delivery to check my blood sugar. This will help me and my doctors keep an eye on how my body is processing things. It will also tell me what foods are particularly good or bad for regulating my glucose levels. As long as my numbers stay in a safe range, I won't have to go on any oral medication or have additional tests run to check on the health of the baby. I am less than thrilled about this lifestyle change.

My fancy-pants finger sticking kit. Yay.

I found out about the GDM diagnosis about a week and a half before I had my appointment with the nutritionist, which had me a little stressed about what I was supposed to eat until I could see her (note: I read that stress is not helpful for regulating glucose, so I wanted to rid myself of that STAT). In my head, just because I didn't know the rules yet didn't mean that the diabetes was on hold. I didn't like the thought of eating things that were going to exacerbate the problem until I had a chance to learn more information. So, I took to Google, Pinterest, and had my brother-in-law (you know, the one headed to the Mayo Clinic) look up for me some basic carb goals to shoot for, and I started cobbling together a diet to work off of in the interim. In the middle of my high stress and discouragement on Day 1 of "I'm a diabetic," I found this post that was perfectly timed to calm me down. The blogger started off the post by saying that she hoped other women with GDM would come across her post while searching for help and find her saying these words: "It's ok. You'll be fine."

Blame it on the hormones, but reading that brought me to tears. It was exactly what I needed to read in that moment of frustration, uncertainty, and fear (if I'm being honest). She also posted some of her staple meals and snacks, which I found to be really helpful. While I know many women deal with/have dealt with GDM (including my mom and aunt), it was really hard at first to stop the flood of "what if" thoughts that go along with the "I have diabetes" thought. It was good timing to come across her words of encouragement.

I'll keep you posted on how things are going as we truck along. Hopefully, it will be incredibly boring and there will be nothing to report (fingers crossed). In the meantime, I'm going to have a chat with our youngest daughter about how we are not signing off on her penchant for drama...

At long last, we found a church.

Not having a church home for the first year (plus) of living in Durham was the BANE OF OUR EXISTENCE, if that's not overstating it (which it isn't). I haven't exactly made a secret of the fact that our transition to Durham was rocky and difficult. For our family, so much of that was directly related to not having a church home. It is definitely the cornerstone of our family life, and without a place to call home, we struggled. Deeply. It wasn't the sole reason that Durham was hard, but it was a major factor.

We had looked up a handful of churches before we moved to Durham and had a list of places that we'd planned to check into, which made the Planners in us feel confident and satisfied. We'd also, in our engaged-->married life, never really struggled with finding a church. Both in Jackson and Boston, we were very fortunate to just know very quickly. In fact, when we moved to Boston, we prayed specifically that the first church we visited would just be the one. Technically, because of my morning sickness at the time, Brad visited two or three without me, but the first one that we visited together was the only church I ever visited in Boston. Because it was the one. We found it approximately 6 weeks into living in Boston and stayed there for the rest of our time in Boston.

We were prepared for that not to be the case everywhere we moved as a family, but we had no idea the journey that lay before us in Durham. It was very humbling. The positives that we can now take away from the whole experience are:
1. There are a lot of great churches in Durham (and Raleigh, because we tried a couple there, too) who love Jesus, love people, and are seeking to do God's work. That's encouraging, for sure.
2. We learned to pray in a more intimate and desperate way for an answer to something so important to us. 
3. Our marriage was strengthened by the struggle. We had to have long, frustrating, deep conversations with one another, and we had to pray very specifically and earnestly together. 
4. We were able to narrow down, in pretty specific terms, the things that are very important to us when choosing a church to be a part of.

We can see those things looking back now. At the time, it was so hard to fight feelings of disconnectedness and loneliness and unbelonging. It was also hard to combat those feelings while still mourning the move from Boston and the wonderful church and friend group we had there. We tried a variety of different denominations, sizes, and styles of worship. We actually stayed at one church for about 5 months (Advent-Easter), hoping it was the one for us. While it is a good church, it was not the right fit for us. That was actually the situation with most of the churches we tried. 

A very discouraging element we found at way too many churches was a lack of general hospitality. That was very unexpected; in my head, moving south would bring more hospitality and outreach (you know, since we were leaving the Land of Yankees). Most churches have designated greeters that greet and guide newcomers, but, nice as these folks are, these interactions are rather impersonal and usually extremely brief. We found that very few actual church members in the majority of the churches we visited made any effort to greet us or engage us in any way. Y'all. If we weren't committed believers who were determined to find a church- if we were people who were seeking to find out more about the Christian faith- we would have given up, based on the level of engagement we encountered. I don't mean to sound bitter or harsh; I was just incredibly shocked. It made a deep impact on me- one that I hope I never forget. An impact that I hope influences my behavior at church every single time I'm there. Our church in Boston recognized this as a major need and actually gathered a group of folks (I guess you could almost call it a committee of sorts) who were tasked with insuring that this was never a problem. It was an excellent strategy for engaging new people and making their welcome a priority. We reflected on the value of that SO MANY TIMES while in the midst of our search.

We visited our church, Blacknall Memorial Presbyterian Church (Blacknall), for the first time last May. It struck me forcibly that, during our visit, we had multiple people/couples/families make an obvious effort to speak to us, introducing themselves and saying, "I don't think we've met before." It was such a disarming way to introduce themselves and draw us in. We've learned since being there more regularly that hospitality is a priority from the top down; the leadership models excellent outreach and expect it of their members. It definitely got our attention from Day 1. In fact, we were actually introduced to the pastor during that very first visit before the service began. During the service, when he served us communion, he remembered both of our names and addressed us personally when handing us the bread. 

We didn't visit Blacknall consistently between May and last fall (when we decided to call it home); we tried several other places during that time frame. It wasn't because we didn't like Blacknall or felt it was an overall bad fit. To be transparent: there are a few elements of how the church operates that were very different from my personal experiences and convictions (less so for Brad) and were difficult for me to accept. I had to pray about and work through many of them in the interim between our first visit and our decision to plant there. They're still things I pray and think about, but the Lord definitely engineered our experience to leave little doubt that Blacknall was the place for us.

And honestly? The thing that sealed the deal for us making Blacknall our home ended up being this pregnancy. I wasn't able to attend church on Sundays for months, which was very hard on my spirit. To simplify things (i.e. rather than continuing to try out churches without me), Brad would go to Blacknall, and Claire and I would stay home. At some point, a friend of his from Duke who also attends Blacknall mentioned that Brad should get my name on the prayer list specifically for pregnant women. How neat that they even have one of those! Brad (being the stellar husband that he is) found the person to email and asked them to add my name to their prayer list. Within a week, I had been contacted by two different women, explaining that there is a group of ladies at Blacknall who meet weekly and pray over the pregnant women and new mothers of the congregation. They also explained that the ladies in that group each take a month of the year and are "responsible" for the women who are set to deliver that month. The "April Lady" let me know that she would be contacting me closer to the baby's due date to start setting up a meal train and whatnot. Additionally, I was contacted by the children's director (a third contact in one week), who saw my name on the prayer list and also noticed that our address is close to hers. She offered to pick up groceries or stop by to run errands for me on her way to and from work.

I was floored, I have to say.

And then, if that wasn't compelling enough, Brad was contacted by another Blacknall-Duke friend of his who asked if we would like for the pastor and an elder to come to the house and pray for me (which they did).

We were so taken with how "hands and feet of Jesus" this church that WE WEREN'T EVEN MEMBERS OF was being to us. It was humbling and touching and was a reminder to us that we weren't detached from the Christian community, as we had felt for so long. It made our decision clear: how could we not be a part of a church whose values were those that we esteem so highly? Service? Care for the household of faith? Reaching out to those with a need of some kind? So we decided to commit. 

We haven't officially joined, in that we haven't participated in the membership classes yet, but we've decided to make it our home and are beginning to get involved. I've particularly been enjoying participating in the multi-generational Women's Bible Study that meets on Thursdays. It's been really nice to have regular interaction with other women who love Jesus and many of whom have children (including small ones, like mine). :) Brad has been involved in the Duke Divinity-Blacknall fellowships that have been started to encourage those studying theology at Duke together. We've also been participating in the Wednesday night Lent services and dinners, which have enabled us to meet more and more members. Last week, we sat with a couple who are mental health professionals and have a side ministry of missionary member-care (a ministry that I think is INVALUABLE in the missions community). We thoroughly enjoyed visiting with them and learning about their work. This week, Brad sat next to some Intervarsity friends from Duke, but I sat next to Mrs. June. Or rather, she sat down next to me, intentionally, to get to know me. She started out by pulling out a notebook to write down our names so that she could remind herself of us later. She's 72 and a retired psychiatrist who has been in the area since 1965. I had the best time visiting with her and was reminded again of why this church appeals to us so strongly. The intentionality has been so encouraging to us as newcomers and is motivating to us as we become more involved in the church community.

Our search was really long and frustrating and showed us some things about ourselves that were less-than-thrilling to discover. However, we feel really content with where we are and how we got here. We're looking forward to getting more and more involved during our time in Durham (which will be a while). Thank you to those of you who prayed along with us; it was such a journey, and we are so grateful for your part in the process! 

Lent with Claire 2016: Resurrection Eggs

I mentioned in my Ash Wednesday post that we're attempting to do some Lent activities with Claire this year. It's such an experiment for us, given that she's a toddler (which = completely unpredictable), but we're going for it. I thought I'd document our progress along the way for you. Who knows what that will end up looking like... 

We're loosely following this Lent reading plan with Bear from the Jesus Storybook Bible. Note: if you have any kiddos in your life who don't have this children's Bible, I highly recommend it! We really like it (and so does Claire). We've given it to a few friends because we like it so much. One of the taglines is that it "whispers His name on every page," which it absolutely does. We love how it is so intentional about connecting every single story to Jesus and God's plan for us. We're actually on track with our readings (you know, 7 days in...yay us!), and Claire is sitting still and interacting with the stories so far, which is better than we got around Advent, so I'll take it.

One of the activities I knew I wanted to try this year was one that's been around for a long time: Resurrection Eggs. I decided to follow this template and started collected items from around the house to fill our eggs. The template includes little printable Bible verses from a children's translation of the Bible to go in each egg, which is nice. Classic Resurrection Eggs are comprised of 12 plastic Easter eggs, each filled with small symbols representing the parts of the Easter story. Technically, you're supposed to start these 12 days before Easter, opening the last one (the empty one- for the empty tomb!) on Easter morning. But, since our goal is to drive home the Easter story during Lent and because our child is so young, we decided to start this week, spending a few days on each egg. The theory is that the repetition of doing the same egg a few nights in a row will help her remember them as we move forward. 

The collecting process. You can kind of spy some of my supplies in the cups of my egg plate: an oyster cracker to represent the bread of the Last Supper, a stone from the tomb, a toothpick as the spear used to pierce Jesus' side, nails from the cross, purple cloth and a strip of thorns. I was able to find everything in our home or yard, which was really nice. 

And this is front and center on our dining room table until Easter (although I may have to transfer the eggs to another holding receptacle when we dye eggs closer to Easter...).

The first egg we opened has a small leaf in it (I snagged it from a rose bush in front of our house), representing the palm branches used during the Triumphal Entry. We did the most simplified explanation you could possibly imagine and sang a "Hosanna" song. It didn't mean anything to Claire, but we'll continue doing it anyway. She was extremely interested in our platter of eggs, picking up each one and gently shaking to see if she could guess what was inside (we told her we can only open one at a time. Lent is a season of waiting, so it seems appropriate for her to practice that discipline, too.). She is very much looking forward to finding out what is in each one, so I'm hopeful that this will end up being a good learning experience.

I also decided to try to do a Easter-related craft with Claire each week, since our first cra(p)ft went so well. I thought she might be able to connect with the symbols inside the eggs better if we did something fun and hands-on that related. Because the first egg has a leaf symbolizing the Triumphal Entry, I decided that we'd make a "palm branch" for Claire to wave around when we talk about it. I glanced at a construction paper "template" on Pinterest and free-handed one to cut out of card stock. Then, I braved the world of watercolors, and we painted it. Claire likes painting, so I figured she'd enjoy that part (which she did). We've been singing a "Hosanna" song when we talk about Egg #1, so now we have a bigger leaf to wave while we sing.

She thoroughly enjoyed painting her leaf.

And, for anyone still interested in some Lenten reflections, might I suggest the daily updates from our Boston church, Church of the Cross? Different members of the church are asked to reflect on particular passages of scripture everyday throughout Lent. Brad wrote a few while we lived there, and I always enjoyed reading different church members' perspectives. They're short and sweet, so it's not a big commitment or anything.

I'm going to try to post a Lent with Claire update (or something in that vein) every week. Assuming that the system doesn't completely break down and turn into nothing. I think it will be nice to have a record of it to look back on by the end of the year. Hope you enjoy!