Letter to my Little Bear: Year 4

Dear Bearsy Bear,

Happy 4th birthday! We have been celebrating all month long, and it has been buckets of fun. You LOVE celebrating- especially if it's for you! One of your very favorite things is to "make a party," and you are very good at it. Maybe you have a future career in party planning? You'd be awesome at it.

Bear in a Bag!

And again. Apparently, this is a favorite past time...

That foot pop...

Bike riding

Goodness, this year has been full. Full of so much learning and fun and challenges and WORDS. The words have been a hallmark of year 3. You are so articulate and so willing to share your articulation at any time with anyone. It's delightful...and a little exhausting to keep up with. Your voice is still so little and sweet, and I video it as often as possible so that I won't forget what it sounds like. Sometimes, though, for my mental well-being, I set a timer and declare it to be "quiet time" (for about 2 whole minutes), and around 7 seconds in, you usually ask if you can talk yet. This is not your favorite game. But, we do love to hear your thoughts and get a glimpse of that window into your mind and heart. From these glimpses, we see more and more how intelligent you are, what a critical thinker you're becoming, and how tender and sensitive your heart is. You have such compassion for others and always want to be a helper. It's admirable and convicting to me.

Smirk

Fun with Daddy

Just a normal day

We love getting glimpses of the way your mind works. You're pretty shrewd for a little gal. For example, if Daddy and I are talking at the dinner table and you're not quite sure what we're discussing, you listen for for a minute and then ask, "Are you talking about ____?" and insert your best guess. Sometimes you're spot on! We've been working for the last few months on your problem-solving skills (to counteract a tendency to frustration), and you are becoming so adept at putting those skills to use! If you can't quite figure something out, you tell us that you're a problem solver and that you will problem solve it! I absolutely love watching you become an independent and careful thinker. We still have to offer guidance to you in your problem-solving endeavors (but you are still a little girl- this is not unexpected), but you are growing so much in your thinking and processing. Your problem-solving parents are so proud.

We attempted to grow a flower. It didn't really work out...

Helping Daddy fix up under the dishwasher

You suffer from a slight case of Hypermelodramosis (Poppy's diagnosis)

Another way that we've caught glimpses into your mind this year has been watching your creativity and imagination emerge. I LOVE THIS SO MUCH. Being a dreamer/imagine-er/Anne Shirley-type myself, I cannot possibly overstate how exciting this has been to watch. During this year 3 of your life, I started leaving you up to your own (supervised) devices more and more. You didn't always love being left to entertain yourself, but over time, you developed a glorious imagination, creating worlds, friends, and imaginary social situations and complications to navigate and resolve. Your resourcefulness and abstract thinking has grown and stretched in fantastic ways. We have loved watching you gain more independence and learn some levels of self-sufficiency. While it makes me sad that you're not a baby anymore, I'm so excited to see you becoming a capable little person. That is, after all, a huge element of this parenting gig we have going on. Oh, and your favorite imaginary friend is "Joy." Here's a short list of items that have been "Joy" in your imaginary games this year: shampoo bottles, ginger ale cans, chap stick, malt vinegar packs. Yeah. It's been interesting.

She wanted to make floating flowers like on Tangled.

Playing Mary (mother of Jesus)

Still a favorite game

You energy levels are unsurpassed these days. Daddy calls you a Perpetual Motion Machine, and that could not be more spot-on. You exude energy at all times while, seemingly, attracting it, as well (i.e. sucking it out of your parents for your own purposes). I wish I had 1/100th of the energy you have. But no. I'm tired by 2:00 pm. I will say, though, you still run on your tippy toes, and I LOVE IT. 

These sleeping moments are very important.

War Eagle!

Goofy.

This past year also brought some developmental milestones that have been very helpful: fully potty trained (including naps and nighttime) and eating what we put in front of you (this one is still an ongoing process but it is so much further along than it was). I don't even want to remember the process that was completing potty training. It was agonizing for your parents, child. Let's just say that you are very persistent when you set your mind to (or, in this case, against something). I'll refrain from writing too much about it, but I'll tell you about it one day. Eating has been a mixed bag: you LOVE to eat, but you do not love to eat what we serve you at family dinners. We've been working on this, and you're doing a wonderful job of overcoming your prejudices and fears. We're so proud of you, and you're discovering that there are actually a lot of foods that you like. A whole new world, Claire, a whole new world.

You visited the dentist for the first time and handled it like a champ! I'm going to go out on a limb and say you enjoyed it. I was so proud of you for being so brave.

You love to play winter and snow. It's your Boston roots showing.

You took on the role of Big Sister just a month and a half after you turned 3. We had NO IDEA how that would go, but you proved to be a champion at adapting to your new job. It has been so fun to watch you and Lily together. You love her so much, and she ADORES you. I was so worried that you would resent her and having to share attention, but you've made room for her with such grace and enthusiasm. When we decided to move Lily into your room, I was very concerned that things would take a negative turn, but you surprised me again; you love having her in there, and you even get upset if she isn't for some reason. What's not so precious is how the two of you get each other all excited and riled up about life...at 6:00 am. That can stop any time. But know that we are so proud of you and how you take care of Lily.

Memorial Day matching

Mother's Day 2016

You were Kevin McAllister for the Boswell Christmas Eve Home Alone party. You chose the character and got VERY into it.

Happy girls!

Sister picture success!

Sometimes pictures work out and sometimes they...don't.

Worked out!

Not so much...

You've also made several new friends this year! We've had such a good time getting to know them! There's Toby and Lydia, Emma and Edmund, Violet, and Aurelia (plus older friends like Richie and Kari Beth, Amelia and Estelle, Amelie and Adeline). You're getting such a good group of friends (and thankfully, Mommy and Daddy really like all of their parents, too). This is such an answer to prayer for us.

This was one of the happiest moments of your year. I'm not even exaggerating. You think of him as a friend, too.

Kitchen helper

Ta-da!

You have developed a wonderful sensitivity to spiritual matters over this past year. You've learned so many Bible stories and have memorized quite a few scriptures, and you've become very aware of the complexities of the story of Jesus. We've spent many an hour discussing "Jesus on the Cross with the blood on Him," which has been both encouraging and challenging for me. There's so much that you want (and need) to know, but there are so many elements of the story that you can't quite grasp yet. We'll continue talking about it, and one day- probably soon- it will make sense to you. 

Here are a few things you've fallen in love (or continued to love) with this last year: Curious George and Cars (you still love them), Madeline (and the Eiffel Tower- you spot it in pictures all the time), Tangled and Frozen, Superbook, Planes and Planes: Fire and Rescue, puzzles, story books (no more board books for you!), coloring (you're starting to stay in the lines!), dancing, "playing" our piano, dressing up, playing with your cars and trains and princess dolls, movies on the big screen (you saw Finding Dory as your first movie, and it was magical), roller coasters (actual roller coasters! You made your 3rd trip to Universal, and you had the BEST time riding rides), playing at parks and the museum, Christmas, and cooking with us in the kitchen.

Dressed as Rapunzel

You decided that this tutu was just a "short Rapunzel dress."

Playing the piano

Organizing the princesses

Seeing George at Universal

All the love for the Christmas tree

Advent readings with Daddy

Some of our favorite of your character and personal qualities that have been so evident this year are: compassion, careful thinking, kindness, sensitivity to the needs and feelings of others, a deep interest in Jesus and His love for us, courage to do new things, eagerness to befriend and include others, HUGE creativity and imagination, ability to concentrate and focus, discernment of character qualities in others, impressive memory (you remembered things from when you were 2 that stunned us), insight into everyday situations, gratitude, enthusiasm, and your wonderful sense of humor.

Silly girl! Dressed as a pirate for free donuts at Krispy Kreme

Year 3 was challenging in many ways (your burgeoning opinions and independence were often at odds with your parents; sometimes, we called you our "threenager." Yeah. It could get a little intense.) and kept us on our toes (physically and mentally), but we thoroughly enjoyed watching you grow and learn and become more you. We're so thankful for you, Claire, and cannot begin to measure how much we love you.

XOXO,
Mommy and Daddy

If you haven't been keeping up with the incredibly funny and insightful things Claire has been saying and doing this year, click on the tags Around here lately and Snippets and Stories at the end of this post to bring up those links. 

What's Brad up to?

Waaay back when we first moved to Durham, I did a post about Brad's school life. I thought I'd do an update on him now that we're closing in on finishing year 3.

Quick refresher: Brad is working on a Ph.D. in Early Christianity/Historical Theology. His end goal is to teach one day. If you'd like a more thorough explanation, click on the link above, or better yet, ask him sometime. The explanation of the ins-and-outs of his studies can get really confusing, so I try to avoid going too in-depth and risking making it worse.

In his program (and most American Ph.D. programs, I think), students spend the first two years doing coursework (i.e. taking classes) full-time. So, for his first two years, he took about 3 courses a semester, plus a couple of audited courses along the way (plus a bunch of other reading and study groups. There is so much work and time involved.). Before beginning his second year, he had to pass at least one of his language competency exams. He took- and passed!- his French exam his first year and then his German exam this year (incidentally, he formally studied French in an 8-week crash course at BC, and he audited an Intro to German course here for one semester. He's a learning beast.). 

At Duke, beginning the second year of a Divinity/GPR (again, see the above link) Th.D. or Ph.D. program, students also begin precepting (facilitating/teaching), which is mostly for smaller, auxiliary classes connected to very large required courses for masters programs within the Divinity school (the Div School offers a Master of Theological Studies and a Master of Divinity). Brad has precepted for two sections of Church History part 1 and one section of Church History part 2. These experiences have been great for him to start finding his groove as an instructor, and he's gotten really good feedback! He's currently a teaching assistant for another Church history course.

The third year of his program (which he is in the middle of) does not involve formal coursework; he has spent most of this year developing and working on a reading list of texts relating to his field to prepare for his preliminary exams (most schools call these "comprehensive exams," but Duke chooses to call these exams "prelims" instead.). He has a committee that he works with to design the questions for his prelims and then who will administer them in just a few weeks. He'll have 4 days of written exams and one day of oral exams. It's a pretty big event, and his entire school year so far has been building to this point.

Providing that he passes his prelims, he will then work on his dissertation proposal. Presumably, a lot of the resources he's been reading for his prelims will overlap with the process of preparing for his dissertation proposal. Once he has his proposal together, he'll present it to a committee, and if it's approved, he'll be considered ABD ("all but dissertation," which means that a student has done everything required for their degree except submit and successfully defend a dissertation.).

At that point, things are relatively open-ended. Funding for a Duke Ph.D. lasts for 5 years, so that is often the goal (because who wants to run out of funding??). There are avenues for obtaining funding for additional years of study, and many- if not most- students end up seeking out such funding. Brad has a goal of finishing his program in five years, but so far, no one can remember the last person from his track who actually did that. 

He's been zeroing in on the topic he hopes to write his dissertation on and has been putting in a lot of time researching and preparing for that (there will be a section about his proposed topic as part of his prelims). I'll write more about his dissertation as it becomes more defined.

Life in academia is such an interesting thing. In some senses, it provides a lot of flexibility (summers are largely self-structured and Christmas breaks are lengthy), but in other ways, Brad puts in so much more time than he would in a more traditional job. He can easily clock 60-70 hours of work in a week. Without even trying. He has so much reading (really dense and difficult reading, for the most part) that he can spend hours (like, 6) working through 40-50 pages. He logs a lot of time preparing for and participating in reading/discussion groups that aren't required but are good disciplines (I hate these groups because they're always at night and for several hours each). It's really amazing and unbelievably admirable the work ethic that he has. And it's also admirable to me that he can talk to normal people (i.e. non-academics) about his- very niche-y- discipline in ways that don't make us feel ignorant. Or, at least not too ignorant. ;)

So, that's what Brad is up to these days. The next few weeks are very important, and then, hopefully, he will be able to take a slight mental break for a bit before gearing up for dissertating. Whew.

Letter to my Little Lily: 10 Months

Sweet Baby Lily,

Oh my goodness. I can hardly stand how fast you're growing. It's just too fast! I'm loving every single day of watching you become more and more you, because you are delightful.

Your everyday face. It's the best.

This past month has been a doozy! You have had all kinds of firsts. My very favorite one is that you've started waving! We went for family breakfast at Chick-fil-a a few weeks ago (February 2), and I glanced over at you to see that you were waving to a lady across the restaurant. It was so so sweet! You kind of roll your wrist around in circles (almost like a pageant girl) while fluttering your fingers. We love it.

You've become even more adept and proficient with your army crawl, meaning that we have to keep eyes on you at all times. You can get all around the first floor in no time flat, so I've had to start closing the laundry room and bathroom doors and blocking your access to the coffee bar. Oh, you also like to mess with the fireplace. I have to barricade it regularly. It's wearing me out, Lils. And hilariously, you've started shimmying up and over the lower level of the coffee table. 

Caught!

MUCH to my chagrin, you've started pulling up (February 7, to be precise). Why, Lily, why?? The pulling up phase is so stressful. But, it is really cute to see how proud of yourself you are. You pull up on the coffee table, the bottom step, the bathtub, your crib. Just...everywhere. Bless us all.

You've started sitting up in your crib when you're not quite ready to go to sleep or when you're mostly asleep but a little confused about whether you should be laying down or sitting up. When the latter happens, you sometimes just flop right over and fall asleep, all bent up. There is NO WAY that it is comfortable and yet, somehow, you'll sleep like that for long stretches of time.

 

Some other things you've been doing this month: 

1. growling when you're very happy and content

2. crawling over to our feet and trying to climb our legs when you want to be held

3. pointing at things that you want or like

4. holding a rather impressive "downward dog" yoga pose

A personal favorite this month has been your mimicking! It has been hilarious! We can prompt you to growl on cue, fake laugh after we do, and you studied Daddy clicking his tongue until you could do it. You watched him with such concentration and focus until you figured out how to click your tongue, too. We were so proud of you! Persistence and perseverance are some of your strongest character qualities. We hope that you're able to channel these qualities for good and not for the mischief that I can imagine...

Following sister into the tunnels! 

Oh! And baths are still your FAVORITE. You are a wild thing in the tub. We not only have to watch you in the tub, we almost have to have a hand on you at all times. It's a little frightening how much you love the water. But it's also super fun to watch. You definitely keep us on our toes. Whew.

Even though it feels impossible, we love you more each day, Lily-lou!

Week 40

Week 41

Week 42

Week 43

10 Months! Look, you're even pointing to the "ten."

And now, for some outtakes...because this month's photo shoots were WORK, girlfriend:

"Oh look! An intruder!"

"Mua ha ha! I know what to do!"

"I win!"

"You again?"

"I'm always winning."

"Gets easier all the time, y'all."

"This joker never learns, Mom."

"Koala, you're going down."

"Ta-da! Winner is my middle name."