Also: to answer a question from last month, I keep track of all of Claire's quotables on the memo app on my phone. I start one at the beginning of each month and just jot things down as she says them. I try to include context information, too, if that's necessary. All of our family and siblings also know to text me anything funny she says when she's with them. Then I just copy and paste.
Claire (making a siren noise with her mouth): oooOOOoooOOO
Erin: What's the alarm for?
Claire: Oh, nothing. I was just testing.
Does Jesus wear glasses?
Mommy, I'm sorry your baby is making you pregnant.
This is my personal favorite of maybe ever.
Santa is still on the potty. He's been there a long time.
This is so funny out of context that I almost hate to include context. BUT, here it is: my mil has a plush Santa toilet seat cover that she puts in one of the bathrooms that the girls use often. She put him in there when we were there at Thanksgiving, and he was still there at New Year.
You should eat fruits and vegetables and candy every day!
Ok. I get it.
At the dinner table, everyone discussing a common topic that wasn't kid-centric:
Why is nobody looking at me?
Pal's doesn't have an opening.
Opening = door. Pal's is a drive-thru only restaurant in Johnson City.
I have two homes: Boston and North Carolina. Can I share Boston with Lily so Lily can have two homes, too?
Lounging in her Ariel costume from Bo.
Mommy! Look at that snow sidewalk!
Snow sidewalk = snow-covered median
Watching "Despicable Me:"
Aww...the minions are so kind, Lily!
Lily almost said real words! Not just baby talk!
There she goes! With her car-boat.
Casually referring to a character in "Despicable Me 2."
Lipperstick = Lipstick
She's speaking Person!
Referring to Lily and using "Person" as if it's the name of a language.
It makes your tummy frustrated if you swallow gum.
Daddy, I'm going to love you forever and ever! Even if I go to heaven with Jesus and even if I GET MARRIED!
Claire: Can I have a pan?
Erin: A pan? Why?
Claire: Like RAPUNZEL!
Our lefty learning to write!
You coughed at the same time! That means you're a good team! That means you can live together!
Said to Brad and me. She wasn't incorrect about any of those statements.
Claire: I'm going to miss being real.
Brad and Erin: ??
Claire: Being real...you know, when I wasn't coughing.
I feel like this is a super accurate and legitimate evaluation of life with a vicious cold.
The bike is basically sinking in the snow.
There's a tricycle under there...
I will tell you when you can unpause it. It will be when I get back from the bathroom.
Bossing us about pausing the movie while she went to the bathroom.
Singing "Jesus Loves Me:"
...Bunnies are weak, but He is strong!
After I told her she needed to practice being brave:
You can do it, Claire!
Dance, Lily! Wiggle your booty!
Dr. Onfarmio = Dr. Nefario (Despicable Me)
Come on, Minion!
Said to Lily...
Rest room time = rest time + room time
Then we'll go to the Mickey club, then we'll get some gum drops, then we'll get a couch.
No idea, guys. But she was really serious about this plan.
Erin: Thanks, Claire.
Claire: I do what I can.
Sees motorcyclist:
I need to be like that guy when I get my training wheels off.
I need an ice gun. Mommy, please talk to Daddy about ice guns.
Hop cracks with me!
While walking on a sidewalk:
Claire: What do you like best about Hide-and-Peek?
Brad (with attitude): Your Mama.
Erin: Hey!
Claire (to me): You had your chance.
Backstory: while spending time with family after Brad's Papaw's funeral, Brad's uncle started a game with Claire (that she forced all of us to play for ages) where you ask what folks like best about something. She had asked me the above question SEVERAL times, so on this round I told her I was done answering. When Brad said "your mama" as his way of being done, I got this sassy reply. #4goingon14
Lily was crying because she was hungry:
That baby is starving to death!
I like you, Nana! And I'm going to miss your necklaces.
Claire: I'm sad Poppy is by himself at home. My mom came to TN for Papaw's funeral.
Erin: Well, he has the pets with him. My parents have 3 pets.
Claire: But they're not HELPERS.
Said to Gran, in confidence:
Sometimes, when Mommy and Daddy tell me something I don't like, I do it when they're not looking.
Max, calm down. We're trying to have a conversation in here.
Max is my mil's bird. He's very vocal.
I can teach you that when you are older...maybe one hundred.
Referring to her own whistling abilities and speaking to my mom.
Grandpa, the fire is getting short.
Referring to the waning fire in the fireplace.
Gran, hug Lily then give her back.
Worried that Gran was planning to keep Lily while the rest of us returned to North Carolina.
Fee, fi, fo, fum! I smell the bird of an English mint!
Why did you say that? Your parents would not appreciate that.
To me, after I commented to another driver that they should stay in their own lane. I wasn't rude, by the way. Just emphatic.
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