Carolina in my mind.

I've always loved James Taylor. Two of my favorites of his songs are "Sweet Baby James" and "Carolina in my Mind." It seems fitting that one is partially about Massachusetts and the other is about North Carolina. Interestingly, James Taylor was born at Massachusetts General Hospital (right here in Boston) and moved to North Carolina when he was very young. That will be Claire's story, too (except that she was born at St. Elizabeth's, not Mass Gen.). 

I haven't written about the 8(ish) month season of life we've recently wrapped up in Brad's Ph.D. application process. I haven't written about it because it's been grueling and frustrating and full of disappointments. Generally speaking, those aren't the experiences you really want to write about. Brad applied to seven programs back in the fall, and we've spent the past 5 months waiting. And waiting and waiting. We kept receiving rejections or being waitlisted, which was so disheartening. I had been praying all along that it would be so incredibly clear to us what our plan for next year should be; that there wouldn't really even be a choice to consider...that is would just be obvious.

Well, it wasn't. And wasn't...and after waiting some more, still wasn't. A huge blow came when we heard through the grapevine that Boston College probably wouldn't be accepting any Ph.D. applicants in Brad's field for next year. The next day, we found out that was accurate. 

It shocked me just how devastated I felt at that news. I have come to love Boston wholeheartedly, and I was crushed that BC wouldn't even be an option. We have become very involved in our church, have fantastic friends, and have built a life here that is just so good. I have come to love the city, to appreciate the culture, and to think of Boston as my home. The first 8 months that we lived here were not my best; I was miserably pregnant, had a difficult delivery and recovery, and took quite a while to bounce back. Around April of 2013, though, my life took an incredible turn for the better and has only become more and more lovely. I was unbelievably grief-stricken to learn that Brad would not be staying at BC.

As time pressed forward and we still did not have an answer about what we should do next year, we began discussing contingency plans. We decided that if Brad did not get an offer that was viable (i.e. would pay for his schooling), we would stay in Boston for another year and reapply next fall. This wasn't optimal, obviously, but we thought it would be a good plan. Brad would get a job (or perhaps keep his current one) and take a class each semester to keep his mind sharp. As more time passed and we didn't see any progress, we became very comfortable with this plan. I even became excited about it, because I just did not want to leave Boston.

One of the waitlists that Brad ended up on was for the Ph.D. at Duke University. He said from the very beginning that this program would be- perhaps- his top choice but that he thought it was the longest of long shots. He was pretty pumped when he found out he was on the waitlist, and for the next several months, he stayed in pretty good contact with the professor at Duke, keeping tabs on his standing. 

Slowly, he inched his way up the list, as other students turned Duke down for other offers. However, we were quickly approaching the April 15th deadline for decisions and were running out of time. We were fairly confident that we would be staying in Boston next year. 

Then, one week before the deadline, Brad got the call, offering him a spot in next year's class. We were stunned. And excited! What an incredible opportunity- to study at DUKE! I was so incredibly proud of him. He will be studying with one of his favorite scholars, and the Lord has provided for us so well. My prayers were answered- there is no question about where we should be next year (and, I was pretty pleased that Brad got to tell a few of the waitlist schools that he had accepted an offer to Duke...I like to think that they were kicking themselves for not begging this stellar fella to join their ranks! Brad would never say that, but I'm the wife, so it's my JOB.).

So, it definitely hit us like a ton of bricks. In a good way. But also in a sad way. I'm so incredibly proud of and thrilled for Brad, but I'm sad to leave Boston. I hate to leave the place where Claire was born, our friends, our church, the fact that we live in one of the coolest cities in America. It's hard knowing that I won't hear the T ringing its bell every ten minutes or that I can't just hop on the train and get to Regina's pizzeria or go visit some of our country's oldest historical sites. I'll miss baseball season in Boston and Marathon Mondays. I'm sad that Claire won't grow up knowing the city that she was born in and that was so formative in shaping our family of three.

While my head knows things like, "at least you know you'll be in Durham for the next 5 years" (rather than moving in two...like I've done every two years since graduating college) and "you'll be back in the South" and "you can live in a house, rather than an apartment," my heart isn't there yet. I'm going to miss Boston so incredibly much and am rather dreading having to start building my life again at the very beginning. So, I'm very torn. I could not be more happy for Brad if I tried. But, I find myself crying a little on a daily basis, when I think about tearing a little Boston-shaped piece out of my heart.

I am looking forward to another adventure and have started researching our soon-to-be city. I think it has a lot of potential.

Thank you to everyone who has congratulated us and sent us best wishes. We are so thankful for all of our supportive friends and family. Go, Blue Devils!